Category Archives: Anonymous Us Tour

Get Your Copy of Psychology Today

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Just wanted to make sure you all got the current issue of Psychology Today, wherein Jennifer Bleyer writes a fascinating cover story piece on donor-conception. My interview along with a plug for Anonymous Us is featured in the article, for which I’m extremely grateful to Ms. Bleyer. I found her to be a very fair listener with extraordinary compassion and desire for balance.

You can read the article online here, but the art direction is really great I’m sure you’d enjoy the physical copy.

Donor-conceived children themselves are raising many of the questions. As the first large wave comes of age, many express unease over their own origins. Some grapple with conception arising not from love but financial incentives—and for them, the word donor particularly rankles. Others worry they may harbor a hidden medical condition. Many are frustrated by an inability to identify or contact their “real” fathers, since anonymity has long been the industry standard and the terms under which their existence was contracted. Some express deep anxiety about unwittingly falling in love with a half-sibling.

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The Delivery Man

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This month is a busy one for donor-conception. The delivery man premiered this weekend and is hitting movie theaters across the country, introducing America to a man who fathers 533+ children and must come to terms with his responsibilities.

Reaching Out

We wrote up some fliers and hit the movie theaters as people were leaving. We wanted to let them know that this industry effects real people and its not serving public health, physically or mentally in positive ways.

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Writing these fliers and handing them to strangers in person is terrifying. Every time I do something like this I have to swallow all feelings of pride. I become numb to some of the humiliating elements of putting your personal story out there. But I know that that’s how every other donor-conceived person who wants to do something about this practice feels too. We can’t all be scared, stay at home and never do the dirty work of questioning this industry.

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People kindly took the fliers. Between showtimes I headed over to Starbucks and coincidentally sat next to a young couple who were planning on going to see the movie themselves. They were sitting with an older gentleman, the young woman’s father. The father had said that he read somewhere that it was scientifically impossible to father 500+ children through sperm donation. I introduced myself and mentioned that in fact it is not only possible, but I know people with over 500 half-siblings. He was shocked. They thanked me for the fliers and said they’d let me know what they thought about the movie.

 

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Shenandoah

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Can you believe dreams come true? I remember several years ago living in New Orleans, alone and desperately wanting love and a family. My love of spontaneous travel brought me there, my love for music kept me there. Transients rolled in and out of town on a regular basis. There was a young couple that came through, I don’t remember their names. The guy wore a leather jacket. The girl was blonde. Together they bought a school bus for $3,000 and converted it into their home. They cooked meals on a hot plate and had a big bed and two chairs. They parked it on Chartres st and walked everyday into the French Quarter to busk. She played viola. I remember being very envious. They had love. They had a home–one they could travel in no less. They had music in their lives on a daily basis.

Today I hiked through Shenandoah National Forest on the north side of the Blue Ridge Mountains, with my daughter and husband. We did so immediately after waking up in our RV that we paid for cash (we’re homeowners!). We stretched and exercised listening to the radio this morning as the mist came through the mountain and my daughter played with a caterpillar.

It feels good and I feel more than blessed.

 

RV life begins

I’m a little scared of what we’re doing. We have a one-year-old and we sold almost everything we own and have bought an RV to live in, work from, and travel with. We’re currently in Washington D.C. We spent two nights with my mom who is currently here for job training, but leaving tonight. We didn’t even get to spend enough quality time with her because we were wrestling traffic, juggling car rentals and RV purchases and messing about with logistical problems to solve.

I find when I’m scared and especially tired, I’m not as kind as I should be. I’ve been very short with Rickard, which I regret. There is a heat wave over the next week and I’m a little scared about it. We have air conditioning in the RV, we just have to be hooked up to electrical in order to enjoy it. If we were to get solar panels (a $5,000 investment) we could boondock anywhere and still enjoy AC. That’s how they do it in Slab City.

The wisdom will come.

Right now the baby woke up and we have to pack up, arrange our things in our new home on wheels, and fix some things.

The Anonymous Us Tour

I am a maven of productivity this year. I made a baby, two books, a workout DVD, and finished up the script for Adam & Eva. Now Rickard and I are gearing up for The Anonymous Us Tour and initiating all the prep work to get us to California, where we’ll  make a rocous in condemnation of bill AB-460– which seeks to redefine infertility to include same sex couples and singles who wish to parent alone. The bill has anti-discrimination language, but what it really does is require insurance companies to foot the bill for every man, men, or monster that wishes to deliberately deny a child its mother through third party reproduction.

We’ll be traveling in this:

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We love to purge ourselves of excess belongings and have already donated pounds of clothing and put our books and unneeded electronics on eBay. We’ll be going to college campuses, media portals, churches and homes across the West to educate and speak about children’s rights.

Some of the time we’ll be staying at designated RV campgrounds. And sometimes we’ll be helping out at organic farms. Our 1-year-old, whom we’ll refer to as V, will come along.

Yea!