Dr. David van Gend

I’m very uncomfortable with the use of the word “homosexual” rather than gay, but other than that this is a compelling video worth the watch.

9 thoughts on “Dr. David van Gend

  1. Anonymous says:

    Curious…why are you uncomfortable with using “homosexual” rather than “gay”?

    I haven’t watched the video clip yet, but I’m guessing that since “gay” has (for some people) the connotation male only (with lesbian being the female counterpart). So perhaps they used “homosexual” to make sure the discussion was about both sexes?

  2. Ms. Talks-A-Lot says:

    The only harms of gay marriage is it’s over-commercialization, and the pushing for hetero-supremacy, in other words, any queer-identified person who copies straight people are superior to those who do not. There is also the issue that gay marriage ignores real social challenges for the LGTBQIA community, such as the queer homeless youth problem, poverty, AIDS,Trans-inequality,the prison complexity and singled people’s rights. But this video didn’t address that.

    I admit to not watching the entire video, but the “issues” he addressed with same-sex marriage is incorrect, and Alana, from your own personal experience you know that it is incorrect. A lesbian commented on your website saying she believed “Fathers are important” and both she and her female partner were married:

    >>>”I am actually a someday to be Birth mom. My Wife & I are a legally married lesbian couple. We will be using my Wife’s egg, known donor sperm & my womb. Our known donor is an old family friend of mine. Our parents were very close friends & we knew each other like cousins. We lost touch for about 23yrs. I reconnected with him & his family on Facebook. He lives in another state now. Through getting to know him again I realized that he is just the kind of person we would want to be our donor. We actually want our child to always know his biological father.We have great relationships with our Dads & feel our child deserves no less. We want to have a relationship with him similar to an open adoption. We want our child to be able to talk to & see his Bio Dad.
    My question is would you donor conceived people think you would feel better had you been able to know your donor all your life?”<<<<>>Della Wolf Kangro Wiley Richards is the 3-month-old daughter of a married lesbian couple and their male friend. British Columbia’s Family Law Act, which went into effect in March 2013, makes their unique situation possible. The measure allows a child to have three or more legal parents, as long as such a situation is in the best interest of the child.

    The three parents finalized baby Della’s birth certificate last week, making them the first family to go through the process required by the new law.

    Danielle Wiley and her wife, Anna Richards, told media outlets that they wanted to get pregnant but didn’t want to have an anonymous donor act as their child’s father.

    “We wanted our kids to know where they came from biologically and actually liked the idea of having an extended family,” Richards told Canada’s National Post. “It didn’t threaten us to have another person’s involvement so long as it was the right person.”<<<

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/11/baby-with-3-parents-birth-certificate_n_4767402.html

    I can defend you when you're talking about the rights of the donor-conceived people, but I can't defend you in your bigotry against gay people. The reality is that we need to explain to the gay public that fatherhood and motherhood is both ancient and important, and it is possible to embrace this both, while still getting gay-married.

  3. Ms. Talks-A-Lot says:

    {I’m not sure what happen to my first comment but please read this one instead}

    The only harms of gay marriage is it’s over-commercialization, and the pushing for hetero-supremacy, in other words, any queer-identified person who copies straight people are superior to those who do not. There is also the issue that gay marriage ignores real social challenges for the LGTBQIA community, such as the queer homeless youth problem, poverty, AIDS,Trans-inequality,the prison complexity and singled people’s rights. But this video didn’t address that.

    I admit to not watching the entire video, but the “issues” he addressed with same-sex marriage is incorrect, and Alana, from your own personal experience you know that it is incorrect. A lesbian commented on your website saying she believed “fathers are important” and both she and her female partner were married:

    >>>”I am actually a someday to be Birth mom. My Wife & I are a legally married lesbian couple. We will be using my Wife’s egg, known donor sperm & my womb. Our known donor is an old family friend of mine. Our parents were very close friends & we knew each other like cousins. We lost touch for about 23yrs. I reconnected with him & his family on Facebook. He lives in another state now. Through getting to know him again I realized that he is just the kind of person we would want to be our donor. We actually want our child to always know his biological father.We have great relationships with our Dads & feel our child deserves no less. We want to have a relationship with him similar to an open adoption. We want our child to be able to talk to & see his Bio Dad.
    My question is would you donor conceived people think you would feel better had you been able to know your donor all your life?”<<<>Della Wolf Kangro Wiley Richards is the 3-month-old daughter of a married lesbian couple and their male friend. British Columbia’s Family Law Act, which went into effect in March 2013, makes their unique situation possible. The measure allows a child to have three or more legal parents, as long as such a situation is in the best interest of the child.
    The three parents finalized baby Della’s birth certificate last week, making them the first family to go through the process required by the new law.
    Danielle Wiley and her wife, Anna Richards, told media outlets that they wanted to get pregnant but didn’t want to have an anonymous donor act as their child’s father.
    “We wanted our kids to know where they came from biologically and actually liked the idea of having an extended family,” Richards told Canada’s National Post. “It didn’t threaten us to have another person’s involvement so long as it was the right person.”<<<
    SOURCE:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/11/baby-with-3-parents-birth-certificate_n_4767402.html

    I can defend you when you're talking about the rights of the donor-conceived people, but I can't defend you in your bigotry against gay people. The reality is that we need to explain to the gay public that fatherhood and motherhood is both ancient and important, and it is possible to embrace this both, while still getting gay-married.

    • alanasveta says:

      We really disagree here. Not on the point that LGBT and queer people deserve respect and inclusion, but on what marriage is, and who its for and what children need. Knowing the identity of one’s biological parents is not enough. It is essential for a child to know that she is LOVED by both biological parents, in order to thrive. Being absent on purpose, which is what sperm and egg selling are, is not love.
      Better explained here: http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/02/11620/

      Back to same sex marriage. I used to very much support SSM, but changed my mind and these are some of the reasons why. And please don’t call me a bigot just because you don’t yet understand why I believe what I believe. I don’t call you stupid for not understanding for what I’ve now come to understand.
      In order to believe in same sex marriage you must believe 3 things:

      1. Sex is primarily a sterile activity
      There is a reason SSM has only been proposed after two generations have grown up on The Pill. I stopped using the pill years ago for many reasons—the FDA has it listed as a Type 1 carcinogen, also its a synthetic estrogen that causes irreparable damage to fetuses (the chemicals aren’t filtered when urinated out and penetrate the water supply for which ppl who aren’t even on the pill are affected). Because I’ve rejected the pill, it is clear in my mind that sex and procreation are clearly linked.

      2. There is no difference between men and women
      This I find outrageous that I would even have to begin to try to explain the differences between men and women, they’re so clear. Here is just one study, then there are books like Louanne Brizandine’s The Male Brain & The Female Brain. Plus the minute you have a child and you realize the vulnerability pregnancy and labor ensues and the wild readjustment of life priorities, and the strain/pleasure of nursing your child. And then how totally essential a mother is in relationship to her infant… To suggest that anyone else can do her job is an insult of huge magnitude to me.

      3. Marriage exists to serve adult desires, not childrens’ needs
      This is a consequence of no-dault divorce, the divorce revolution. The ease in which people remarry and the reasons they give for marrying have transformed the purpose and meaning of marriage in our culture. It used to be that a partner would have to prove abuse, adultery or abandonment in order to succeed in divorcing their spouse. Now they can break it off for frivolous reasons, or no reason at all. No one is even encouraged to stay together “for the kids’ sake”. This is not my belief about the purpose of marriage. While I love my husband, I do not pretend that I will love him for every moment and for the rest of my life. I am married to him rather than just living with him, because I know deeply how important his presence and love is for the benefit of our daughter and soon our son. I asked to interweave our lives primarily because I know it matters to our children. For that commitment to him I sacrifice much, even as I gain much.

      The lesbian couple you refer to at Anonymous Us are not bad people, and will probably not be bad parents. My intellectual disagreement with how they’ve chosen to structure their family is that I don’t believe it honors the importance of fathers (even if the kids have dad’s email address handy).

      • Ms. Talks-A-Lot says:

        Marriage is a illusion.
        It’s merely a change of names from partner to spouse, with a ceremony that is subjective to interpretation. Realistically speaking, it shouldn’t be legally recognized or gov’t sanctioned. It’s historical and original goal was to sell women to men as property, in exchange for dowry payments.

        Secondly, there are differences between men and women, but when in my reply did I say that there is none? I said it’s wrong and incorrect to bash gay marriage under the ideology that it will split children from their biological parents. I said this is silly because there are married lesbian couples who graciously welcome their gay male friends to father their children, and be the male-role models in their lives, and vise versa. The issue is more about letting the gay community know the harms of ART. it’s negative implications, and how there are ALTERNATIVES, instead of bashing them and their love all together.

        Thirdly, the lesbian woman said they wanted their kids to have a relationship that was no less than what they had with their father. Just because its not a traditional set up (one man and one woman) doesn’t mean the arrangement doesn’t honor or respect the importance of fathers.

        Alana, you are being targeted by the masses of being biggoted and conservative. You’re not going to help the masses of DC offspring who are trying to fight against the gross Infertility industry, if you’re bashing gay parents. You have to learn how to be more inclusive for the rainbow of different fathers and mothers, out there, and how we can embrace the importance of mothers AND fathers, without excluding the LGTBQIA community. We are all connected, and you have to embrace that, or you’ll ruin it for the rest of us.

        • How it connects says:

          Ms. Talks-A-Lot,

          I hear you and I think it’s absolutely wonderful that you are embracing your children’s very special relationship with their father. Your (any of your) sexual preferences is/are completely irrelevant. However, as you I’m sure are aware, the more people who stake a claim to a child the more feelings, opinions and social negotiations are required. I’m sure you/your partner/your child’s father/his partner don’t want to turn your co-parenting into the equivalent of a ‘good divorce’. This might be of interest to you: “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce” (http://betweentwoworlds.org/)

          • Ms. Talks-A-Lot says:

            Firstly, being gay isn’t a sexual preference, liking a Latino women over Caribbean women is a sexual preference. Being gay is a sexual orientation. Your patronage is blatant heteosexism.

            Secondly, I’m not a lesbian. I’m bisexual, however, I have many gay friends, and had been emotionally-fathered by a gay uncle.

            Thirdly, elective co-parenting is not like a divorce. It’s along the lines of a extended family, or even a communal family, which have been prevalent for hundreds of thousands of years, before the institution of marriage even evolved.

            Lastly, as a product of a divorce I can say that the separation wasn’t traumatizing, it was my parents’ behavior. Having stepbrothers, stepsisters, and a little half-brother, was wonderful. Having ‘another father’ (mom’s boyfriend), was nice as well. Trying to pretend that divorces will destroy America is ridiculous. The issue is truly absent dads, and overworked singled-moms, and neglect to the children’s feelings in ART. arrangements.

            You should look into how children of these arrangements really and truly feel

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Vmzgnx9MY

          • How it connects says:

            I really don’t care who you want to have sex with. It’s irrelevant. As far as co-parenting is concerned – best of luck with that.

  4. How it connects says:

    In regards to how redefining marriage and assisted conception are inter-married, here is something that might be of interest.

    “Children’s Rights”
    http://englishmanif.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

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