I’ve been cooking a little girl for just about 40 weeks now. She is finally ready to come out! But today is April 1st, so her father and I are hoping she’ll wait until tomorrow… Although honestly I’m so physically uncomfortable as well as eager for her company I wouldn’t mind a lifetime of jokes and stigma surrounding an April Fool’s Day birthday. Only thing is the doctors might think what we’re choosing to name her is an April Fool’s joke in and of itself…
Things they don’t tell you before you get pregnant:
- You get a ton of boogers… With your immune system on hyper drive, your body produces a lot of mucous.
- You get really chapped lips… Because your nose is always full of boogers, when you sleep, you have to breathe through your mouth more. Because you’re breathing through your mouth the entire length of the night, you get cotton mouth, and super chapped lips.
- Life without your period is truly amazing.
- People give you presents. You don’t have to buy your kid a damn thing for all the presents you’ll get- so if you’re holding back from having kids because you’re worried about the cost- don’t be so concerned. They don’t need much stuff anyways. We’ve spent $160 total for everything we need so far. Just make sure your medical is covered.
- Speaking of medical stuff… No one will ever ask for your biological fluids as often as when you’re pregnant.
- Your husband/partner will fall ever more deeply in love with you when you’re carrying his child.
- Instead of getting cat-calls from middle-aged men, you’ll start getting kitten-calls from middle-aged women who think your baby bump is super cute.
There’s a lot about pregnancy I would recommend. Especially being on the younger side. This pregnancy has been a total pleasure and my opinion about my body and its strength has changed all for the better. My self image has improved. My magic box has the power to create a whole new human! How fucking cool is that.