Tag Archives: infertility

Buy my new book!

The second volume of Anonymous Us is finally available! It’s over 100 stories from the front lines of third party reproduction—a satisfying due diligence for anyone considering using a sperm or egg donor or surrogate. It’s also a great introduction to assisted reproduction for anyone who wants to know more about the subject.

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Rather than plugging holes in a sinking ship, let’s learn to float.

As a subscriber to Wendy Kramer’s Donor Sibling Registry blog (which I really like—I think Wendy does great work), I recently came across her most recent post about major discrepancies in egg donor reporting—describing the egregious way in which egg banks and fertility clinics underreport OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome) as well as infertility after egg donation and other serious health consequences resulting from egg harvesting. Agencies report about a 1% risk of OHSS, but the real number appears to be closer to 30% (I myself experienced OHSS when I sold my eggs). And it appears at least 9.6% of donors become infertile after the procedure.

People who are invested in keeping third party reproduction legal often tout regulation as the solution to all of the annoying health and psychological risks/consequences that arise from these procedures. For egg donors it might be we need to lower the dosages. For surrogates they say we need to properly screen them. For sperm donors we just need to limit the number of offspring and make sure we do genetic testing to prevent the spread of inheritable diseases. And so on and so forth.

When a generation emerged and complained about being lied to about their status as donor-conceived, the authorities said we just need to be open and honest with our kids and tell them the truth from the beginning. Then those of us (like me) who were told from the very beginning still grew up and complained loudly that anonymity is despicable—we deserve to know the identities of our biological parents. And so now the authorities are saying OK as long as you choose an open ID donor you’ll be fine. And we are starting to see the complications, the custody battles, legal battles, the pure chaos of those “solutions” now too.

Everyone is trying to find an artificial, legalistic, technological solution to the long list of problems that come along with third party reproduction and alternative families in all their forms. But they are plugging holes on a sinking ship. The ship was our understanding of love and sex as God and nature intended. The bomb that blew up the ship was the Sexual Revolution.

The solution to OHSS and premature infertility from egg harvesting is not more regulation. It is the abolishment of the egg trade and third party reproduction in general. The solution is encouraging women to get married and have kids when they’re 25, and get their PhD’s at 40, rather than the other way around. The solution is to financially incentivize actual cures to infertility rather than allowing a marketplace in pre-born children. The solution is for us all to learn how to cooperate with nature again, rather than try to dominate it.

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Rotten Root of an Infertile Culture

My latest piece for Ethika Politika:

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that sin includes any activity that brings death to the body, or death to the soul.

Increased utilization of third party reproductive technologies and our current infertility epidemic are deeply tied to sin. The birth dearth is primarily a result of the marriage decline. The marriage decline is a result of a profound absence in virtues and character development—resulting in a culture in which people can’t trust themselves and can’t trust the opposite sex to meet the basic demands of a marriage: commitment, fidelity, and cooperation. We don’t need more sexual education, we need more virtues education.

I recently was confronted about my Catholic conversion by a teenager whom I’ve known for years. “You’re not going to force your religion on your kids, are you?” he chided. I responded defensively, “I plan on at least giving my children the gift of a moral education—which the Church expertly provides.” From there began a conversation about whether there was an absolute truth or not. My teenage friend announced that there is no such thing: “morality is arbitrary … Good and bad means different things for different people in different circumstances.” Later in the conversation, the topic of children came up. I asked him, “How old do you think you’re going to be when you get married and have kids?” “I’m not sure I want to have kids,” he said.

I’m not sure I want to have kids.

His response shocked me greatly, because I’ve known him for years and I know that he is great with kids and since early childhood he has regularly declared his desire to eventually be a dad. Were his first remarks regarding truth related to this change in desire for children? I think they are.

David Brooks of the New York Times wrote a column in 2011addressing a researched study that found that young Americans lack categories and vocabulary on matters of “right and wrong, moral dilemmas, and the meaning of life”:

Read more…

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