Writing to write

This post is for me not for you. I’m writing to write. I’m writing to unwind and unload.

Recently:

  1. My mom found my biological father (probably). I convinced one of his 3 children to take a DNA test, but directions were apparently not followed and now she needs to take it again but I’m struggling to get a response from her. My (likely) father apparently thinks I’m trying to scam the family, that I want money, that I’m fake. He has not entirely confessed that he was a donor. He was married at the time. He’s also a Hilary Clinton fan.
  2. My sister is getting married. For this I am pleased. They have 2 young children together and have been living together for nearly 4 years now. Statistically they’ve had a weak foundation to build on, the “sliding vs. deciding” problem. But he seems to be a good and stable guy. And I have faith the marriage will work. I’ll support it in every way I can at least. The greatest defense against evil is a married man and woman, a nuclear family. Or as Ryan Gosling said it “Put a man, woman and child together in a scene and you don’t have to say a word; there’s just a natural harmony and peace.”
  3. My husband won his age category in the Louisiana marathon. He worked incredibly hard for it, running 20 miles here, 18 miles there, 5 days a week for months. He ate right and switched to the elliptical after an injury, got massage work for a bad tendon. I’m proud of him. But I’m not proud of how strategized for the marathon. I didn’t try to understand the map. I didn’t bring warm enough clothes for the kids, we didn’t pay the money for our own hotel room and instead split it with another couple and didn’t get good sleep for the kids. I let the stress of single motherhood build and build and build and never once just got a babysitter or went to get my own massage to deal with the added load. Come race day I flipped out, lost my cool, and failed to celebrate the real achievement of my hard-working husband. I ruined the joy. And I’m very sorry about that. I think he is right, one day when our son is older, he will be very proud of the fact that his dad was able to run a marathon in under 3 hours.

Lastly, I’ve been researching and digging into homeschooling as an education solution for our kids. I’m disillusioned with public school. I hated my public school experience and now especially have some major reservations about putting them in a Common Core system that seems to have ridiculous data mining measures—even going so far as hooking children up to body monitors during testing to document their stress levels. Also—the elimination of cursive and the new math procedures (if it ain’t broke, why fix it??) all seems to work to alienate children from their parents, their ancestors and their history. If a child doesn’t know cursive how are they supposed to read The Constitution? Or their great-grandparents letters?? Or even birth and baptismal certificates when researching their genealogy?

I am scared to venture into home-schooling, but what is my alternative? Let them be consumed by predatory capitalists disguised as state educators? Or have their desire to learn hijacked by shallow bullies that distract their focus onto things like brand name clothing and trendy personal grooming standards?

I’m part way into a book called home school your child for free. But I don’t like it. I wrote a bad amazon review for it. And I’ve been familiarizing myself with the uber Catholic Seton homeschool curriculum. A lot of people make up their own curriculums, borrowing from many places. I think the first year I’m gonna go easy on myself and use Seton + abcmouse.com. My eldest seems to have a propensity for music and art and language. She’s very uninterested in sports and athletics and frankly not very graceful. So I’ll be pursuing the Suzuki method of violin starting this summer. In the spring time we’ll plant a garden. In the fall we’ll harvest. In the winter we’ll really focus on academics and reading and creating indoor projects like drawing and sewing. My son clearly has an interest in being outside and playing with balls so we’ll most certainly pursue some community sports programs.

I think those pursuits plus church activities and they’ll somehow get raised. Most importantly I want them to be dynamic human beings, rather than task cogs and blind consumers.

end of update.

2 thoughts on “Writing to write

  1. Greg says:

    Wow, your husband ran a sub 3 hour marathon? That’s insanely good. I’m hoping to run my first later this year and would be thrilled if I finished in under 4 hours. Congrats to him.

    Good luck with the search for your biological father.

  2. Heart touching thoughts. Hope you will get to know your biological father soon. Congrats to your husband, it’s a great win!

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