Youtube Series Begins

I’m beginning a series of youtube videos about donor-conception and child procurement. I’ve discovered that some people don’t like to read or rather prefer video/audio and so I’ve decided to do my best to condense certain ideas and offer them as Youtube thought nuggets.

My first four are <5 min. each and speak on fatherlessness, the difference between adoption and 3PR (third party reproduction), a recent fertility industry conference I attended, and an introduction to The Anonymous Us Project.

Enjoy!

One thought on “Youtube Series Begins

  1. marilynn says:

    Watched the first youtube clip where you mention David’s book and cite negative statistical outcomes for ‘fatherless’ people. Alana five years ago I decided to read everything I could get my hands on to figure out what laws were causing people to get separated and stay separated from their families. I did not want to talk about whether or not the problem should be fixed because justice and equitable treatment are not open to popular vote – if we identify an unjust law we are supposed to fix it not vote on it. We don’t need to sit around talking about the statistical likelihood that shit will turn out bad if we don’t fix it because no duh someone will come along and argue that those things did not happen in this case or that case and so their point is there is no need to change from the status quo. For every study you have that proves your point, they’ll have one that proves theirs. If we instead pointed out areas of the law that don’t hold people accountable as parents for their own offspring when everyone else is held accountable for their own offspring you are demonstrating that the inequity in obligation results in a disparity in the treatment of dependent minors – thus creating this undeserved and unprotected segment of society that will obviously be at a disadvantage to the segment of the population that is protected. Not everyone in that unprotected class will turn out to be a rapist or a drug addict or get divorced or get pregnant at 13, but that does not mean they did not deserve to be treated fairly, just because they were able to navigate the world with less than they were supposed to have and less than others are receiving by federal mandate.

    I’ve been watching donor offspring and their adoptive counterparts in their public pleas for justice. I have noticed a curious common thread is that they don’t actually ask for or demand justice so they really are not surprised they aren’t getting it. You and David can spend all year gathering statistics on how many rapists grew up in homes where their fathers were absent and you’ll still loose a debate because even I, someone on your side, has the tactical wherewithal to point out the millions of non-rapists whose fathers were not present in their home during their formative years and you end up, totally right in fact and noble in purpose, but having changed absolutely nothing. Worse, when I read comment threads where that method is employed I see that many are actually convinced to support the institutional destruction of the nuclear family because its totally true not everyone that grows up without their father around turns out to be rapists. What matters is getting the right type of attention from the parent who is present and it is possible to turn out very well without a father around. I can say that and I’m on your side. If people whose parents were donors or who are adopted start to see the inherent flaw in that strategy is it forces them to engage in an eternally protracted debate over whether being treated unfairly results in negative outcomes – its an insane discussion cut it out. They want you to keep the lines of communication open

    What ya’ll need is less sociological and psychological studies and more highly paid legal analysis of your constitutional rights or something. You need a legal strategy for sweeping changes to the uniform parentage act on the federal level that are not a matter of opinion but of irrefutable fact.

    I don’t think you need to bother talking about how crappy someone can turn out without their father around. You can drive a car with your feet too but its not a good idea. Kind of fked to tie someone’s hands behind their back and then toss them the keys to the car.

    Everyone who has offspring looses their privacy. None of us have a choice in the matter nobody asked me what my intent was before putting my name on my child’s birth record. Why does anyone get extra special privacy that other people don’t have? Actually, we should not even bother answering that question of why because it invites unnecessary debate and conversation. Just show the unequal treatment and identify the changes that will align your treatment with the rest of the population and if someone does not like the fact that you want to be treated equally or that they have to be accountable for the kids they put on this earth call them a wha-ambulance they can work their control issues out in therapy

    Statistical evidence of negative outcomes is a propaganda technique that you don’t need to employ if you are really right and you are really wronged. To me those techniques are for people who don’t have plain facts to prove their point. I think you could ask to be treated the same as the rest of the population and then they’ll simply have no reason to deny you. Expect your bio parents to behave as other bio parents are required to behave when their offspring are born. Don’t worry about what they do before their offspring exists, they don’t have any children to be responsible for then. Unfortunately you have to wait until their children exist to have a societal interest in the outcome of their behavior. It’s just a fact and I want you to win and get fathers to be accountable for their children.

    I completely believe in you and support all of your efforts to bring about change. Your voice is recognized and respected and you are going to change the world for sure.

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